Category Archives: creativity

Find Joy When You Can

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ZachSobiechCloudsSometimes we get so wrapped in war and the aftermath, we forget that our purpose in life is to be the best person we are, and to find the joy in it whenever we can. Sometimes, someone comes along unexpectedly to remind us.

A young man died on May 20. He wasn’t a veteran, he’d never been to war. He was a young man who had spent the last four years battling Osteo Sarcoma. Zach Sobiech  touched millions with an incredible song he wrote about his own eminent journey into the clouds.  But his journey is one for all of us to remember… “You don’t have to find out you’re dying to start living.”  You can also find a moving account produced by Soul Pancake (a project by Rainn Wilson) in a mini-documentary on My Last Days.

To Zach. We at WarRetreat will always be grateful to you. We are so glad that music and creativity filled your days. A great song from a generous heart.

In Kathmandu: Veterans and Mountains

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As you know, I’ve just finished up work on a new documentary called HIGH GROUND. It’s a film that will appeal to a lot of our readers. Set in the lushness of the Khumbu valley, and the dramatic 20,000 ft peak of Mt Lobuche, 11 wounded warriors and 1 Gold star and Blue Star mother make their way to the top. Along with lessons learned, the share their stories of war with the back drop of the Himalayas. Stunning. Stream in online through netflix, amazon, or iTunes, or bring it to your town by writing to me here at WarRetreat.

I wanted to wrap things up, and found this apt poem by Donald Justice. It describes the coming home of veterans in relation to coming down off a mountain.

11 Veterans & 1 Gold Star and Blue Star Mother climb Mt Lobuche after war.

11 Veterans & 1 Gold Star and Blue Star Mother climb Mt Lobuche after war.

JusticeHighGround

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Relatable: Silver Linings Playbook

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File:Silver_Linings_Playbook_PosterThe crisis always seems to happen at 4 AM. The neighbors never ask directly, but talk about you and your family anyway.  Of course, there is the usual mix of things that don’t obviously go together –football, your shrink, and ball room dancing. Many military families will recognize these scenarios, and so it is on this familiar ground that the story unfolds in the film, Silver Linings Playbook. The film by Director David O. Russell and based on a book by Matthew Quick offers a glimpse into the life of Patrizio Solitano, Jr.  ”Pat” is  finding his way to a new path, after emerging from a mental institution after the eruption of his Bipolar Disorder.

This is a film of humanity and truth. Those in the military family often feel they tread alone as they cope with the challenges of TBI, PTSD, depression, anxiety, or post combat stress reactions. Silver Linings Playbook brings a moment of relief as we see confirmation that someone else knows our path too. We recognize the moments of truth in the harried looks of the parents; or a crescendo of emotion brings cops and nosey neighbors to the door. It’s easy to root for Patrizio and his family because we know what it’s like when carefully laid plans are swept away by an outburst of chaos. But the best truth the film brings out is that while life is not easy, it’s not all horrible either. Silver Linings Playbook has a hopeful, yet uncertain ending. But that’s  life, and we in the military family understand this.

For the director, David O. Russell, the film was a highly personal one as his teen age son has a mood disorder. Similarly, both Cooper and DeNiro have close family members they’ve spent time with as well. Watch the Silver Linings Playbook Interview.

Yoga Journal Proceeds To Hyatt: Decree Issued By Outraged Yogis

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Jillian and I know there are people who think war is wrong, and that veterans are brain washed automatons. What they often think of military spouses can be just as bad. We shrug because that’s simply the state of their mind and we don’t let it get in our way. Once in awhile, we can spark a revelation, but by and large to try to do that 24/7 would be a colossal waste of time. We thrive in this teeter-totter-technicolor world. 

We focus on helping others, though we can’t ignore how much baggage is delivered at the yoga doorstep by well meaning yoga-doers. Recently a call was put out by It’s All Yoga Baby to boycott Hyatt Hotels, which is in a contractual disagreement over union matters, work conditions, as well as the firing of housekeepers to subcontract them at a lesser rate. The reason for this ire is that Yoga Journal has contracted to have their annual conference at the San Francisco Hyatt. 

Regardless of what has happened internally at Hyatt, Yoga Journal has decided not to back out of their contractual agreement and go ahead. Does this make Yoga Journal anti-union?  Should we assume yoga-doers will be pro-union?  Does this make either side good or bad? Should everyone quit hunting for cheap rooms at 4-star hotels online pitting one website against another? Should they pay full price instead so higher wages may be paid? Does this mean they shouldn’t stay at that cute non-union trendy boutique hotel because it might pay lower wages and have equally difficult conditions?

Eric Walrabenstein, Founder of Operation Bootstrap

Eric Walrabenstein, Founder of Operation Bootstrap

To us, the bigger question is: Do we really want to lay that baggage on the yoga doorstep? WarRetreat is here to help people with bags staggeringly weighted with traumatic experiences. We think it’s unfair to ask them to haul anything more than a request to stretch and breathe. And even with that  –one has to go softly.

 We choose to let two big corporations work that shit out. This doesn’t mean we don’t care: rather, we accept there are more sides to every story, that our actions lead to imbalance in ways seen and unseen, and not everything will be to our liking. If it were, we probably wouldn’t like it anyway. Traction is only gained when we are uncomfortable.

But what we like is the response of former Army Infantry Officer, now founder of Operation Bootstrap. He’s also a yoga teacher and studio owner in Phoenix.  Walrabenstein (who was once called a great XO by one of his men) wrote this in rebuttal to the boycott Hyatt post on the yoga blog, “It’s All Yoga Baby.” 

We’ve gone ahead and lifted it, which was shortly posted on his Facebook page. Walrabenstein shoots with clean barrel, and his intellectual gun is smokin’ hot.  (Though we did smirk when he felt compelled to confirm his compassion for the disenfranchised for the It’s All Yoga Baby readers. At WarRetreat, we don’t check for passports).

Dear Yoga Friends,

Let me start out by saying that I do in fact care about the disenfranchised. I do work to see a more just and compassionate world. And if I were in charge of the Yoga Journal conference, I would very likely change venues in support of those who are seeking a fair shake from the global giant Hyatt.

And thus, I stand shoulder to shoulder with those who are voicing their disappointment in Yoga Journal for deciding to hold their conference at the San Francisco Hyatt.

But I do so in the name of this opinionated and imperfect character Eric Walrabenstein—not in the name of yoga. Certainly not. 

To voice our outrage about Yoga Journal’s decision to on the basis of yoga—or their affiliation with it—is to, frankly, not understand the purpose, or practice, of yoga. And quite colossally so.

Here’s the thing:

-Yoga is not about standing up for what’s right, while going to war with what’s wrong.
It’s about transcending right and wrong all together.

-Yoga is not about aligning ourselves with those who do good and against those who do not.
It’s about being liberated from the self all together.

-Yoga is not about standing up and fixing the problems of the world.
It’s about sitting down and seeing the innate perfection that has always already been.

This war against reality is the ego’s game, not yoga’s—and certainly not your truest self’s.

So, by all means stand up for the causes that you believe in: Rail against injustice, fight for the disenfranchised, champion the good and assault the bad. It is your right, and some would argue your responsibility, to make this world a better place in which to live.

But please don’t drag yoga into your war against God’s perfection. 

Yoga is about creating unconditional stillness; yoga is about accessing the perfection of what is; yoga is about recognizing who you truly are—beyond the one filled with outrage and self-righteousness. 

If you wish to truly do something in the name of yoga, sit, breathe, and smile.

Love & blessings…
E

P.S. I have no doubt that this idea will ruffle a great many feathers; particularly those of the spiritualized, feel-good crowd who confuse temporarily satiated egos for some sort of spiritual progress. I understand. I get pissed at things too, whilst trying to remind myself that this too is part of the inherent perfection of what is.

BootstrapUSAKanani’s note: Consider Operation Bootstrap, a thoughtful, well designed and proven effective program that was many years in the making. Operation Bootstrap helps veterans find stress reduction through yoga. Support it for the price of a cup of coffee.

Living With The Unseen

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Editor’s Note: Spirits, ghosts, memories are things veterans and their families live with long after they have been through war. They can be vexing, or comforting, can get someone stuck, or motivate a person to go on. WWI veteran and poet Siegfried Sassoon found healing by writing about the memories of war extensively. From On Scratchbury Camp: 

“Shadows outspread in spacious movement, always you  
Have dappled the downs and valleys at this time of year”

What follows is a story from Charlie’s years as a yoga instructor in the Santa Monica area of Southern California. A vital, active, gifted teacher who comes from a sports background, veterans can also find him teaching online classes at Yogis Anonymous, in person at YogaWorks, and on his blog, Yoga Rap with Charlie Samos.

By Charlie Samos

Yoga can be so amazing. Years ago, I had a mom and a daughter practice with me each weekend. They would arrive, set up side by side, and enjoy the time together. I always felt honored to be part of their relationship in this special way. Both beautiful souls. Then tragedy struck, and the daughter was gone.

I attended the funeral, and knew that this was the worse thing for a parent. I supported as best I could, which was really nothing. The mom and I stay in touch, and she knows I love her.

Fast forward to this weekend. The mom’s twin sister comes into class. She introduces herself, and I tell her we have met twice before, and joke that I have kissed her cheek twice. She hugs me, and takes class both weekend days. On day two, I notice that she lays her mat in the exact spot where her niece use to practice. Both days, crowded room, same spot. I find it interesting, nothing more at first. Then, as I walk around her during class, I realize I can feel an energy. I assume I am just imagining it, and let it go. Finally, we come to Shavasana. I pass by her again, and can feel a presence. I notice her crying, and realize she’s  feeling her niece –with no idea that she’s in the exact spot where her niece once practiced. So I hold her for a bit, then decide that instead of returning to the front of the room to end class, I would sit just near her and embrace this spirit that was finally returning to me.

I began to weep, but knew it was good. I got through the end class and realized that the practice can truly open up our hearts to things unknown, and unseen.

Do not underestimate the healing that yoga can bring. Love will always find the way.

Balance: Fighting Zombies

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I was reading Will Gadd’s most excellent blog, where he imparts some wisdom found in his 45 years. He writes about eating right and most of all about moving and breathing. Carving out that time everyday to be physically active. Maybe it’s walking the dogs, running, doing yoga, dancing – it’s up to you. But it’s important to not confuse busyness, or being online with movement and breath.  The very active Gadd uses the example of seeing “a super fat lady” walking the hills early in the morning. She’s his hero because she’s committed to reshape her mornings and walk everyday.

I’m one of those people who annoys my kids because I’ll talk to anyone. It’s my countrified upbringing: I can’t help it. When I see someone super out of shape walking, I’ve been known to roll down my window, shoot a thumbs up out the window and say, “Keep Going! You’re doing great!”  Because what I see is someone who got to a point where they said, “No more. I’ve abused and neglected myself long enough.” And now they walk, breathe, to find a new take on life.

The truth: you just never get those hours back where you blasted someone in Disqus comments for 2  hours. We never have those hours back when we answer emails that could wait, played the latest online game devoted to collecting things that aren’t real. Or the time we went to dinner with our kids and were more interested in the virtual conversation of texting.  Everyone has to get out of this rut and move and breathe. Besides, as we get older, our waistline slips down around our freakin’ hips. At some point people should start seeing that burger and fries, that big bag of salty chips, that extra stuffed and fried burrito as an enemy deserving to be blown to bits with high caliber rounds. Not as something to passively apply to thighs, hips, and arteries, as too many do.

You never have that time back, those lost chances to breathe when you fell pray to instantaneous communications. One of the big downfalls of all of this virtual non-face-to-face chatter is the perception that all of it matters. It doesn’t.

Or that it’s more important that you. It isn’t.

So we have to be ruthless when it comes to taking that 30, 45, or 60 minutes to ourselves, because it’s a struggle for all of us to find balance. Especially if you get yelled out by someone who has had a crappy day, and in turn decides to make yours crappy too. Don’t get involved in their power struggle, their martinet ways because it’s more about them than it is about you. Be a zombie slayer: push them off, and those time snakes away, (do the double tap). Find those precious minutes to suck in fresh air, move and find a rhythm until you’re groovin.’

Whether it’s yoga, bicycling, walking, playing with your dogs, or walking around the backyard at midnight in the heat of the summer watering the garden. Grab that chance to disconnect from the noise and chaos accosting you to move and breathe. Believe it or not, as you do, you’ll find the stillness and peace you’ve been craving.

Watch Will Gadd move and breathe.

The Gratitude Post: Friends far and then near (and a book giveaway)

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 I write this while seated on the back porch watching the dusk arrive, and the lights streetlights below me turn on. Cars with their lights on, snake down the gently windy road. Everyone is on their way somewhere. Even those of us who work out of our homes, whose choice of profession gives them both the luxury and sometimes boredom of being here 24/7. Well, almost.

Tomorrow I leave for Chicago. Daughter wants to see the city, and I realize it’s been over eighteen years since I last saw Seurat. It’s time to see the Field Museum, walk along Michigan Avenue, and eat good food.

“I thought this was going to be a family vacation,” said the teen age daughter. It’s hard. Sometimes teenagers seem to want nothing to do with family, other times they demand exclusivity. Her complaint was heard, but alas, too late. But I’m sure, Daughter will survive a bit of parental sociability. She forgets: when you work out of your house, sometimes the only thing you talk to is the dog or cat. 

It seems as I get older the chance of me knowing someone somewhere increases, especially since Facebook. So I’m meeting my friends Tin & Phoenix, and I hope Zen Pundit, Blackfive, Steve Baskis and Counterintuitivity for pizza on Friday night. You might want to read the blog Tin & Phoenix, as she (a former Marine) has a book giveaway for a book on Fallujah.

I smile, because as a child I had many penpals in what seemed like far flung places: Palos Verdes, Virginia, and even ones close to home. I loved receiving letters from them, telling me about their lives. Often, I’m sure I had little to say. I had a dog, lived in a region of farms and rivers, where peat would blow in and make us all sneeze. Nothing seemed very exotic. I remember one time the penpal in Virginia sent me a T-shirt that said, “Virginia is for lovers.” You would have thought it was Gucci. I was all of ten, and wore that shirt everyday. I had no idea what it meant. But it was exotic enough for me.

But now we have Facebook, and the kick of it is, sometimes I save up enough money to meet my friends too. What brings us together?  A sense of humor, persistent good cheer, a sense of irony, a love of words. And for some, the military, but more to the point: the experience of war. It is life changing, and those who have watched loved ones go away, or others who have served and been through the hell of it, take great comfort in knowing the military support community will always be there.  There exists strength and vulnerability, and the friendships between veterans are ones that last a lifetime. Plus, there’s always a parade of new friends coming by. That’s where I’ll be Friday night in Chicago: at a parade meeting new friends.

As the sun finally sets, I reflect: There’s much to be grateful for, especially friends.

In Muir Beach CA: 31 March, Hike and Meditate (no cost event)

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Dyan Ferguson of Honoring The Path of The Warrior has an event coming up. You can read all about it here on this link. WarRereat has made the notations in parenthesis to show how it fits with our mission of movement and breath.

From their flyer: 

  • Come relax and have fun!  (Breathe)
     
  • Hike through the Golden Gate National Recreation Area (Move)
     
  • Visit the Green Gulch Farm Zen Center (Share)
     
  • Learn meditation and mindfulness tools you can use in your daily life (Experience)
Click on the photo below to be take to the registration info.

Sunday Life Advice: “Everything’s Changed, Including Me”

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There comes a point in your life, where you realize nothing has ever gone to plan. Or in my case, any plan I might have had, was always pulled back into line by the hand of God. Once you take the ego out of it, things become so much easier. Sometimes I think stubborness is the work of the devil (though not all resistance is bad).  But that’s a philosophical conversation that ought to be had in a pub, with a drink, and maybe a book of Yeats nearby.

What's on my desk right now.

Some people talk about “keeping their sanity” or staying on “this side of normal.” But what’s normal now, certainly wasn’t even on the horizon of where I thought I would be say –20 years ago. Or how about 30?  40?  50?  Well, yes, I am old enough to have a 50 years ago.  Normal changes.

I’m bringing this up because many are coming home from war. Who they are now, may not have been on the horizon of their consciousness even 2 years ago. And yet they are changed. The challenge set forth is a false one: that they must get back to who they were before war. But in reality, no one really ever gets back to who they were even 2 years ago. Everything changes, and most of all, your experiences have shaped your perspective in ways you will still be discovering 20 years from now.

Families change too. Spouses, children, parents and friends. You’re not alone in feeling the drift, the growth, regret, hope, nostalgia, and even wistfulness. They’re in as much need of counseling and letting go of the myth everything (meaning you, them, or you and them) will revert back to the way things were. Because they know they won’t, and while they accept and soldier on, it doesn’t make it any less painful. One thing for sure: we can never go back in time. (Sorry, but the VA has yet to develop a Tardis). So never think you’re alone, because change is never easy for everyone. But one thing can make it easier: people you meet who will act as guides.

Just let those guides through an open door once in awhile. Who knows –it could be a person, a book, a poem, a song, a movie, an animal, or it could just be a day when you go outside and take in the open sky, noticing the shades of a sunrise. Some will be long term influences, others will just happen in passing. Look for those that have set off a spark within that compels you to take some positive steps to grow.  Growth is change, it happens slowly. And while the mental or physical changes in you might have happened quickly, progress comes one step at a time. It’s not always easy. But just keep going toward the light, and when an open hand comes your way: grasp it.

Side note: Big nod of gratitude to the Nick Vogt Family, whose daily postings about their son’s progress on Facebook have been a window into a family built on unconditional love. We are thankful they share their journey with the public.

What Keeps Us Going: Small things are big things

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We’re a small blog. There’s just the two of us. There are times when we think no one is reading. But then we get notes like this from a soldier: “I quit smoking and took up yoga. I’m more flexible now. I still dip while I’m out in the field, but that’s to get through those 29-hour days.”

Most yogis would focus only on the dipping. But we know if this soldier keeps up with both nutrition and yoga, eventually he won’t feel the need to dip. We’re honored he’s even looked at our page, we’re thrilled beyond words that he’s started yoga while posted OCONUS.

Grateful parents share an update about their son, on Facebook. Their son, a Doc with the 3/5, has only been home from Afghanistan for two months. While driving, he was hit and seriously injured by a drunk driver. Being the Marine that he is (and always will be), Doc pulled the drunk driver out of the car and administered first aid. The Marine was taken to the hospital where he lost massive amounts of blood. He is recovering in the hospital, and his fellow Marines have rallied around.

Orange (CA) Flag Retirement Ceremony, 2011: The Men of the 3/5. Photo by Kanani Fong

How can we not want to help someone who is so noble, has given so much, and will continue to do so his entire life?

Lastly, this silent but moving video.

“Team X-T.R.E.M.E. and The Ranger Group partner to honor the sacrifice of United States Marine and Wounded Warrior, Sgt. Herman Lubbe at FedEx Field during the pre-game show of the Washington Redskins vs. Minnesota Vikings football game on Christmas Eve 2011. Thank you Sgt. Lubbe! WE WILL NEVER FORGET!”

Here is Sgt. Lubbe’s story: With Mom’s Help, W. Va Marine Hurt In IED Blast Recovers

It’s you. You keep us going. Thank you.